It Had to Be You, Log 1/??? [Audio]

[libraritology]

Hello?

[The audio crackles, buzzes into the correct tuning, and there's the click of a dial. A distinctive, very proper, English voice speaks over the comm unit. At least she's familiar with radio enough to manage this much.]

Is anyone there? This is...my name is Evelyn Carnahan, and this is not Cairo or Hamunaptra.

[A pause.]

I don't know where I am, and I was right in the middle of something very important, and this is exceedingly inconvenient. If someone could-

[Rustling noises.]

-if someone could please tell me what's going on, I need to find my brother, Jonathan, and our guide, Rick, as I was in the midst of an expedition, thank you, I'm in...I think it's a foyer.



...anyone?

[For those interested in seeing Evelyn in person, seeing as the last thing she can remember was falling into a river off of a boat, she's wearing a soaking wet nightgown. This. This will not stand. This is scandalous.]

Comments

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

No trouble whatsoever, [ he reassures sincerely.

In fact it comes much closer to a reward. Evelyn is right, sit-down conversations don't happen very often, certainly not in a polite way over tea. And "I would appreciate anything that makes me feel like a civilized human being again" is a sentiment Philip can more than relate to, something no amount of time spent on the beach can help him with.

Besides, it's not like the physicist is about to sustain a horrible injury that will prevent him from going after his watery hobby for a very, very long time.

He leads the way out of the library, along the corridor. ]

So... was diving in your nightgown a scheduled part of the expedition?

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[At that, Evelyn has the grace to colour a little.]

I was actually minding my own business, thank you very much.

[The reprimand is in good humour, if it isn't obvious by the way she's smiling. Now that she's no longer on The Sudan and in immediate danger, she can look at the situation with a clearer mindset.]

Our vessel was attacked by men in black in the middle of the night. Then wanted the map to Hamunaptra- the City of the Dead. [She amends, for Philip's sake.] There was...fire...gunshots. The Americans on the boat were shooting at everything. It was hard to tell what was what, and who was who.

[Jonathan ran to safety. She remembers that. He's always been good at worming out of scrapes, no matter how bad things get.]

Our guide asked me if I could swim, and then he threw me over the side of the boat.

[THE NERVE OF THAT MAN.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

{ }

What happened then?

[ If Philip thought about it he would have to admit that he was asking out of curiosity as much as (maybe even a little more than) out of concern. If it was purely the latter then he might just have held his tongue. Nice as it would be to know that the young woman is safe at home, the equal chance of her being anything but is not something he'd want to examine too closely.

But alas, this is his inner movie fanatic speaking out of turn and out of a great eagerness to know how this exciting scene ends. ]

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

I was suddenly here.

[Evelyn hates to end the story on a lame note, but that much is true.]

My brother was in the water soon afterwards, I was sure I heard him say my name, but then I was here.

[She couldn't have...couldn't have died, right? That wouldn't make any sense, and there's no afterlife out there like this - not that she believes in an afterlife, anyway.]

The men who attacked us, though...they had tattoos on their faces. The strange part is that these symbols are so ancient and revered that they haven't been used for anything but their original purpose.

[Curiouser and curiouser.]

The only men who were permitted to wear them were the Medjai. Sort of a...group of bodyguards for the Pharaoh. But that was thousands of years ago, it doesn't make any sense why there would still be Medjai now.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Huh.

[ The inner movie fanatic is thrilled by this set-up, but Philip himself notices a cold sort of dread getting comfortable in his stomach. Was "I made it safely onto dry land and then I was suddenly here" really too much to ask for?

He contemplates the rest of her story. Huh as a contribution to that will not do. ]

So if... If they were guarding the Pharaoh then, what if they are guarding his remains now? If they didn't want you to have the map, then...

[ Philip stops. Their corridor journey is completed. He pushes open a door, revealing a lovely little tea room on the other side. ]

Maybe that's what they didn't want you to find.

{ }

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

That's exactly what I would have thought, too.

[It's phenomenal that he's actually getting so interested in her line of work. By this point, Jonathan would have waved his hand, dismissed the entire thing, and suggested that they sit down for a glass of port. Evelyn isn't quite so eager to ignore goings-on as her brother is, though.]

However, Seti- oh, thank you. [She steps into the tea room, moving to one of the small table, and continues.] Seti I was buried in the Valley of the Kings, in a personal mortuary temple, hundreds of miles away. His tomb was discovered in 1817.

[See, now you've gotten her all excited to share her theories. We hope you know what you've gotten yourself into.]

I believe that the Medjai's duties have changed - or had changed, at some point, shifting from protecting Seti I to...to something else. Something like that would only have happened once he had died, and their positions were practically obsolete.

[Seating herself at the table, hands folded primly in her lap, Evelyn then realizes that she's been talking this entire time and hasn't offered to assist.]

...oh! Oh, do you need help? Should I fetch cups and saucers?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip would be down with the port, but that doesn't mean he has to dismiss an interesting conversation for it. ]

Changed to-- I've got this, thank you.

[ Turning away from the cupboard Philip arrives at the table with a magically produced tea set.

Cups, saucers and a hot water, milk, sugar, lemon as well as an assortment of several teas and complimentary cookies are all neatly arranged on a large silver tray.

Wonderland does make life significantly easier, if only on the afternoon tea front.

Philip takes a seat. ]

Changed to what, do you have any idea?

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[How remarkably convenient. An entire tea service, without all the preparation time, in less than thirty seconds. Evelyn selects a teabag, drops it in a cup, and pours hot water over it.]

Nothing to do with Seti I, that's for certain. His body was discovered elsewhere in the Valley of the Kings in 1881, likely due to grave robbers. But if the Medjai are still at work, then this calls for much more research.

[A little cream, lemon, sugar. She stirs it, taking a sip.]

There is...one theory.

[Evelyn hates to follow hearsay alone, but when it's the only thing to work on, she may have no other choice. Besides, who doesn't like scandalous rumours?]

It's purely speculation, but...supposedly Seti was murdered by his high priest, Imhotep, and his mistress, Anck Su-Namun. According to legend, the two were having an affair when she wasn't supposed to be touched by anyone but the Pharaoh himself.

The Medjai would have every reason to pursue the priest. If they did catch him, he would have suffered the worst of punishments.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Ohhh, Ancient Egyptian Gossip^TM! Philip listens while pouring his own cup, just a little lemon, thank you very much.

He automatically reaches for his trusty companion flask when he realises that coming prepared with a bottle of rum is very unlikely to impress or indeed leave any sort of favourable impression on his new acquaintance.

Quickly letting the evidence of his recreational alcoholism slip back into his pocket Philip nervously withdraws his hand and busies it with stirring the tea. ]

What- what sort of punishment?

[ Stirring, stirring, stirr-- Why did he just ask that? ]

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

The Hom-Dai.

[Evelyn sits up straighter. She wouldn't be offended by the alcohol abuse - Lord knows she's been desensitized to it by her brother - but it's nice of him to think otherwise. Respectable young women are becoming quite modern, after all. It is the 1920s.]

It was a curse used to punish the worst blasphemers. Should any victims rise from the dead, they would bring with them all the Ten Plagues of Egypt.

[Now for the fun part!]

The priests would cut out the tongue of the accused, who would then be embalmed alive, wrapped in linen, and placed in a stone sarcophagus with hundreds of flesh-eating scarab beetles. There is, however, very little record of this ever being done to anyone.

Hypothetically speaking, if this did happen, then the Medjai would have every reason to...protect...the remains.

[Oh.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip takes a sip of his tea as he listens with morbid fascination. Too late he remembers to at least go through the motions of shock or disgust where he no longer feels them. ]

{ }

[ Oh good, there's a frown at least. Still... ]

But why protect his remains? If he was a- a blasphemer, why bother guarding him... and for so long?

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

I...I suppose the only reason to protect the remains would be to prevent anyone from bringing him back from the dead.

[It's a very good question, and one she definitely doesn't know the answer to. Evelyn pauses to drink some of her tea, considering her revelations. If this is the case, then she can bring it back up whenever she returns to Egypt.]

The Ten Plagues of Egypt weren't exactly a stroll in the park, Philip. Whether or not they happened must not matter to the Medjai, as long as they're continuing their duties.

[But! Logic prevails!]

But this is all still conjecture - I wouldn't know for sure unless someone actually read from The Book of the Dead and its spells were real, but that's-

[Evelyn waves her hand. Superstition is for old Egyptian ladies and so-called medicine men.]

-that's ridiculous, not to mention unrealistic.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

As unrealistic as an alternative dimension with quasi-magical closets and people from different eras?

[ Sip. ]

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

...you have a point.

[Grimace. Sip.]

Although the thought of a three-thousand year old mummy Hell-bent on destroying the entire world doesn't tickle my fancy as much as finding a less dangerous artefact. I suppose relics are more interesting when they're not trying to kill you.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Dead quiet. Sip. ]

...I suppose so.

[ It's hard for Philip not to associate murderous relics with one particular derp-- pardon, person in Wonderland. If he lets himself continue down that road of thought, chances are not even the most civilised conversation could save his day.

Another sip. Time for a subject change. ]

You said you wanted to know more about Wonderland. Do you want the good, the bad or the awful news first?

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[Evelyn has already met Wonderland's greatest derp, although she's under the impression that he's a very thoughtful young man from the past who has wonderful manners and holds pleasant conversation quite well.]

I have choices, do I?

[Expression torn between amusement and worry, she drums her fingertips along the side of the teacup.]

Bad and awful news first, I suppose. It's better to get those out of the way.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Most of the time all you have to worry about are some of the other residents, but every, um... every two weeks or so we get those "events". They're based on memories - our memories - and they...

[ How to put this? ]

They change Wonderland. Or us. Or both. You'll understand it better once you've actually been through one, but--

[ Sip. ]

Just recently the entire mansion turned into a Japanese school campus. One time for three days I was convinced that I was really a psychiatrist. And a while ago-- You're not going to believe that one. [ He grins. ] A while ago Wonderland was completely underwater and all of us turned into fish. Er... part fish. Marine animal hybrids. That was...

[ Fond event memories. They do actually exist. ]

...quite interesting. Well. Few of the events are actually enjoyable, I'd call most of them an inconvenience, but they... they can be dangerous.

[ Philip attempts another sip of his tea, but the cup has been emptied. ]

Last time we woke up with collars around our necks. We were told they'd poison us if we didn't take an antidote, which... which we could only get by fighting each other.

[ He stares into the cup, his expression solemn. Philip didn't die... or kill during that event, but the set-up was troubling enough. ]

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[Events. All right, she can handle something that only comes once every two weeks or so. That doesn't sound all that bad. According to Philip they only last for three days, so there's that, at least. Evelyn listens with rapt attention as he starts listing some examples.

Perception or reality-altering situations sound complicated and unnecessarily confusing, but if the mansion is indeed sentient and this is what is does...well. Nothing can be done about that.

It's all well and good until he mentions that there is a distinct possibility of combat. Fighting people. Killing people?]

Oh.

[Evelyn pales. She isn't quite cut out for those sorts of things.

She does notice that he's run out of tea, and pours another cupful for Philip. Expression worried, completely ignoring her drink, Evelyn ventures,]

...so what's the good news?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Thank y-- Actually... I wasn't done with the bad news yet.

[ He frowns apologetically. ]

Overall this Wonderland doesn't compare much to the book, but it is ruled by the Queen of Hearts. Supposedly she lives on the other side of the mirrors.

[ Deep breath. ]

...As do copies of us. They look exactly like us, but they've got different- opposite personalities.

[ With a frown he turns to face the mirror behind him. ]

They can listen and watch us through the glass. Sometimes they write on it. Sometimes they cross over to our side.

[ Philip pauses to think a moment before adding the next part. ]

Not all of them are necessarily bad, but... they all obey the Queen and... I'd be very careful about trusting them.

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[Evelyn's face falls. More bad news? She's not sure just how much of this she can actually take. The bit about mirrors makes sense. Through the Looking Glass is sure to be the parallel.

But the idea that there are other people...other versions of them, always watching and waiting, is more terrifying than anything else she's heard so far. In an attempt to preserve her dignity, Evelyn makes a mental note to cover her mirrors with sheets, whether the Opposite Siders walked through or not.]

Heavens, please tell me there's good news.

[Tea cup set completely aside, Evelyn leans in, elbows on the table - oh, how rude - and addresses Philip thusly:]

Other selves or not, mirrors or not, surely there's something here that qualifies as a benefit, aside from the library.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

You could argue that the free board and lodging is at least convenient.

[ He takes a deep breath. All things considered it probably doesn't count for much. ]

...And we all have four lives. If- if you die here then... you will come back.

{ }

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

Four lives?

[Now that...that is simply unheard of. Suspending her disbelief with magical closets, certainly. Accepting the fact that she's trapped here, well, nothing can be done about that, either.

But four lives?]

Is this...some manner of reincarnation, or...or what, exactly? You just "come back"?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Four lives. You just come back.

[ What else could he add to that? ]

I've never seen it happen, so I'm not sure how it works, if-- It depends on how you die or perhaps it's different from person to person, maybe it's just random, but...

But I do know that it's true.

[ There is more. Dean telling him about a very painful reassembly experience. Daniel walking and breathing after having his heart ripped out. And Philip's own alleged death which he only found out about fairly recently.

Details which he'd rather not divulge for so many reasons. ]

...You don't have to believe me and I... actually hope you never get your proof, but I thought I should let you know.

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[This raises even more questions about how often it happens that people die around here, but Evelyn doesn't want to know that. Not one bit.]

No, it's...no, thank you. It's fine, it's just...unexpected.

[Frequent hazardous situations cropping up? For Heaven's sake. Looks as though she'll have to be more careful around here - not that Evelyn tends to run straight into danger, unlike certain adventurers she knows, but at least there's a way to get back.

It's almost cheap, but she won't complain.

Evelyn sips her tea quietly, contemplatively, before speaking again.]

How...how long have you been here, Philip?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

It's been about...

[ Counting... counting... count-- oh God. ]

About two months short of a year.

[ Philip knows it's been a while, he just never had a closer look at that while before and saying it out loud is... something new, to say the least.

He can't exactly ask Evelyn the same question, so he opts for a little more Wonderland trivia instead. ]

...Which seems to be the average, actually. A few months, from what I've gathered. Some have shorter stays, others... I think five years is the longest stay I've heard of, five... or four, I can't remember.