It Had to Be You, Log 1/??? [Audio]

[libraritology]

Hello?

[The audio crackles, buzzes into the correct tuning, and there's the click of a dial. A distinctive, very proper, English voice speaks over the comm unit. At least she's familiar with radio enough to manage this much.]

Is anyone there? This is...my name is Evelyn Carnahan, and this is not Cairo or Hamunaptra.

[A pause.]

I don't know where I am, and I was right in the middle of something very important, and this is exceedingly inconvenient. If someone could-

[Rustling noises.]

-if someone could please tell me what's going on, I need to find my brother, Jonathan, and our guide, Rick, as I was in the midst of an expedition, thank you, I'm in...I think it's a foyer.



...anyone?

[For those interested in seeing Evelyn in person, seeing as the last thing she can remember was falling into a river off of a boat, she's wearing a soaking wet nightgown. This. This will not stand. This is scandalous.]

Comments

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

...you have a point.

[Grimace. Sip.]

Although the thought of a three-thousand year old mummy Hell-bent on destroying the entire world doesn't tickle my fancy as much as finding a less dangerous artefact. I suppose relics are more interesting when they're not trying to kill you.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Dead quiet. Sip. ]

...I suppose so.

[ It's hard for Philip not to associate murderous relics with one particular derp-- pardon, person in Wonderland. If he lets himself continue down that road of thought, chances are not even the most civilised conversation could save his day.

Another sip. Time for a subject change. ]

You said you wanted to know more about Wonderland. Do you want the good, the bad or the awful news first?

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[Evelyn has already met Wonderland's greatest derp, although she's under the impression that he's a very thoughtful young man from the past who has wonderful manners and holds pleasant conversation quite well.]

I have choices, do I?

[Expression torn between amusement and worry, she drums her fingertips along the side of the teacup.]

Bad and awful news first, I suppose. It's better to get those out of the way.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Most of the time all you have to worry about are some of the other residents, but every, um... every two weeks or so we get those "events". They're based on memories - our memories - and they...

[ How to put this? ]

They change Wonderland. Or us. Or both. You'll understand it better once you've actually been through one, but--

[ Sip. ]

Just recently the entire mansion turned into a Japanese school campus. One time for three days I was convinced that I was really a psychiatrist. And a while ago-- You're not going to believe that one. [ He grins. ] A while ago Wonderland was completely underwater and all of us turned into fish. Er... part fish. Marine animal hybrids. That was...

[ Fond event memories. They do actually exist. ]

...quite interesting. Well. Few of the events are actually enjoyable, I'd call most of them an inconvenience, but they... they can be dangerous.

[ Philip attempts another sip of his tea, but the cup has been emptied. ]

Last time we woke up with collars around our necks. We were told they'd poison us if we didn't take an antidote, which... which we could only get by fighting each other.

[ He stares into the cup, his expression solemn. Philip didn't die... or kill during that event, but the set-up was troubling enough. ]

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[Events. All right, she can handle something that only comes once every two weeks or so. That doesn't sound all that bad. According to Philip they only last for three days, so there's that, at least. Evelyn listens with rapt attention as he starts listing some examples.

Perception or reality-altering situations sound complicated and unnecessarily confusing, but if the mansion is indeed sentient and this is what is does...well. Nothing can be done about that.

It's all well and good until he mentions that there is a distinct possibility of combat. Fighting people. Killing people?]

Oh.

[Evelyn pales. She isn't quite cut out for those sorts of things.

She does notice that he's run out of tea, and pours another cupful for Philip. Expression worried, completely ignoring her drink, Evelyn ventures,]

...so what's the good news?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Thank y-- Actually... I wasn't done with the bad news yet.

[ He frowns apologetically. ]

Overall this Wonderland doesn't compare much to the book, but it is ruled by the Queen of Hearts. Supposedly she lives on the other side of the mirrors.

[ Deep breath. ]

...As do copies of us. They look exactly like us, but they've got different- opposite personalities.

[ With a frown he turns to face the mirror behind him. ]

They can listen and watch us through the glass. Sometimes they write on it. Sometimes they cross over to our side.

[ Philip pauses to think a moment before adding the next part. ]

Not all of them are necessarily bad, but... they all obey the Queen and... I'd be very careful about trusting them.

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[Evelyn's face falls. More bad news? She's not sure just how much of this she can actually take. The bit about mirrors makes sense. Through the Looking Glass is sure to be the parallel.

But the idea that there are other people...other versions of them, always watching and waiting, is more terrifying than anything else she's heard so far. In an attempt to preserve her dignity, Evelyn makes a mental note to cover her mirrors with sheets, whether the Opposite Siders walked through or not.]

Heavens, please tell me there's good news.

[Tea cup set completely aside, Evelyn leans in, elbows on the table - oh, how rude - and addresses Philip thusly:]

Other selves or not, mirrors or not, surely there's something here that qualifies as a benefit, aside from the library.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

You could argue that the free board and lodging is at least convenient.

[ He takes a deep breath. All things considered it probably doesn't count for much. ]

...And we all have four lives. If- if you die here then... you will come back.

{ }

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

Four lives?

[Now that...that is simply unheard of. Suspending her disbelief with magical closets, certainly. Accepting the fact that she's trapped here, well, nothing can be done about that, either.

But four lives?]

Is this...some manner of reincarnation, or...or what, exactly? You just "come back"?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

Four lives. You just come back.

[ What else could he add to that? ]

I've never seen it happen, so I'm not sure how it works, if-- It depends on how you die or perhaps it's different from person to person, maybe it's just random, but...

But I do know that it's true.

[ There is more. Dean telling him about a very painful reassembly experience. Daniel walking and breathing after having his heart ripped out. And Philip's own alleged death which he only found out about fairly recently.

Details which he'd rather not divulge for so many reasons. ]

...You don't have to believe me and I... actually hope you never get your proof, but I thought I should let you know.

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[This raises even more questions about how often it happens that people die around here, but Evelyn doesn't want to know that. Not one bit.]

No, it's...no, thank you. It's fine, it's just...unexpected.

[Frequent hazardous situations cropping up? For Heaven's sake. Looks as though she'll have to be more careful around here - not that Evelyn tends to run straight into danger, unlike certain adventurers she knows, but at least there's a way to get back.

It's almost cheap, but she won't complain.

Evelyn sips her tea quietly, contemplatively, before speaking again.]

How...how long have you been here, Philip?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

It's been about...

[ Counting... counting... count-- oh God. ]

About two months short of a year.

[ Philip knows it's been a while, he just never had a closer look at that while before and saying it out loud is... something new, to say the least.

He can't exactly ask Evelyn the same question, so he opts for a little more Wonderland trivia instead. ]

...Which seems to be the average, actually. A few months, from what I've gathered. Some have shorter stays, others... I think five years is the longest stay I've heard of, five... or four, I can't remember.

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[That...is a very long time. Almost a year. Evelyn hasn't even thought that far ahead in her own time. She's hoping to be a curator by then, but it's such a while from now that one never knows.

Five years sounds even more daunting. Do they miss their homes? Don't they age? Is there no way of getting back at all, except in death?

She wants to ask those questions, but fears they sound a bit morose for her first day. Evelyn opts for a different approach.]

Is it very difficult to make friends here? Several people over the radio were not particularly encouraging in their transmissions.

[And that's the understatement of the century centuries universes.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Still some tea in his cup. Philip opts for a pensive look at rather than a small sip from it. ]

The, er... cultural differences can be a problem. It seems impossible for people of one world to live together peacefully, you can imagine how it might go with residents from several of them.

[ He looks up. ]

I suppose the more colourful characters here tend to leave stronger impressions, but--

[ This is the point where the story demands Philip provide helpful instructions on how he met some of his friends, like he did back at home. A sage advice such as 'sit in the lobby and have coffee ready to share' or 'show up at That Restaurant early in the afternoon'.

Alas, they include a whole lot more stabbing than a newcomer should be subjected to, in theory and in practice alike. ]

...Wonderland has... a way of bringing people together.

[ "For better or worse" is cut from the final script. Philip clears his throat. ]

Actually, you did use your communication device already, didn't you? You'll be able to see videos of the others who live here- text and calls as well, I- I'm sure you'll come across a few more, um, promising transmissions sooner or later.

[ How do you do that encouraging smile again? ...Ah, there it is! ]

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[The extent of social interaction with other countries and peoples in Evelyn's world stops short after "commies are bad" and "Americans are a little crazy." Having been exposed to a small selection of Wonderland individuals so far, she's really only met suspicious figures and people willing to help her.

Colourful characters? Do a strange little masked man and a grey-skinned person with sharp teeth count? She's had quite enough colour for one day, thank you.]

Videos...of course.

[Here's the part she doesn't like. Being out of her element. To some extent, Evelyn should be able to fare quite well. She knows how to work radios, but film is a bit beyond her. As is this 'text' thing. The word itself is one she knows well, but applying it to standards and terms of the twenty-first century is difficult for someone from the twenties.]

I...I don't, ah...

[...like asking for help. Evelyn's face falls, and she looks down at her cup, embarrassed.]

...I don't really know how to use it. The video just sort of happened.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Oh. Ohhh. Apologetic Smile IV: The Return of Apologetic Smile. Philip does forget to mind his timeline in some conversations. ]

They tend to do that, whether we want them to or not. But you'll get the hang of it. If you brought the device I can show you how it works?

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[Thank God for pockets in skirts, propriety be damned. Evelyn nods and pulls the communications unit (http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x408/dashboardlite/Evelyn%20Carnahan/Farnsworth2.jpg) out, setting it on the table. It's probably a little more Ye Olde Tymey than people would expect, but the technology in the 1920s isn't the most phenomenal.]

Thank you. I don't quite know- [A frustrated sigh.] ...It's just harder than it looks.

[These miniature film tubes don't make any sense.]

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ HA. ]

I haven't seen one of those in a while.

[ Philip inspects the device. 1926. If memory serves Evelyn is still a few years away from a television set, although she must have been to a movie theatre. Likely she at least knows about telephones, unlikely she actually owes one herself. That sounds about right, let's get to work! ]

All right, do you see that button here? You press it before you use the dial, it's connected to the....

[ - INSERT TUTORIAL ON SENDING AND RECEIVING AUDIO, VIDEO AND TEXT MESSAGES HERE - ]

...otherwise you'll end up sending the message to the entire mansion. [ He clears his throat. ] And that should just about cover the basics.

[ Reaching into his pocket he pulls out his own communication unit (http://i.imgur.com/5ZpyS.png). ]

Try giving me a call, see if it works.

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[Fortunately, Evelyn is a remarkably quick study. She notes the dials and their positions, the means by which one can "change channels". Interesting that everyone has their own specific "channel".

There's a speaker, a tuning switch for the radio, and plenty of other bits and bobs that make more sense to a technician than a historian, but by the end of Philip's lecture she's got the gist of it.

Curiously, she glances over at Philip's communicator - which looks markedly different - and turns the dial on hers to select the name and call option. Static crackles across the screen for a moment, and something on Philip's side of the table beeps.]

...is it working?

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip holds the device up so Evelyn can get a good look at the screen - and at the imagine of herself being transmitted nice and clear. ]

See? Easy as pie.

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

Oh!

[So it is working! Marvelous stuff, this Video-Audio-Texting thing.]

Fancy that.

[She switches the transmitter back off, quite pleased with herself, and tucks it away.]

If it isn't too much trouble, I might call upon you in the future with this...thing.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip pockets his own device and finishes his tea, assuming there was still any left. At this point the multi-threading narration can't possibly be expected to keep track of every single food and drink gauge and won't be arsed to double-check either. ]

That would be--

[ Philip stops himself. Just a quick check to make sure his level of enthusiasm is appropriate.

Welcoming rather than the sort coming from a person who might become best friends with a raving mad cannibal in a matter of hours, providing the situation was dire enough.

No. No, everything seems to be in order. ]

It would be no trouble at all.

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[This multi-threading narration is judging that multi-threading narration so hard right now, and will never stop. Not ever.

...back to the tea, right? Or was it orange juice? Who knows?]

Thank you.

[Evelyn fidgets for a moment.]

I...I probably shouldn't take up any more of your time, but I really did mean that. Thank you. For everything you've done to help me.

[sadfreezingbrit.livejournal.com]

[ Philip finishes his beer and slides the empty bowl of miso soup aside. ]

Time is one of the few things we have in abundance here.

[ He smiles softy as he remembers the quote of his dear friend, glancing down at the plate where a half-eaten slice of pizza still serves as testimony of his decreased appetite.

Philip stands up. ]

...I could show you around the grounds once you've settled in.

[ One last glance at the Mai Tai on the table. Not much left except a pink paper parasol. ]

But you might want to look for a room first.

[libraritology.livejournal.com]

[Time in excess. After going so fast, screeching to a halt feels strange. Looser. Uncomfortable - at least, at first. Evelyn isn't quite sure how easily she'll adapt.

She stands as well, setting aside her strawberry daiquiri and smoothing the front of her skirt.]

I would like that very much.

[Once she's settled in. It has a certain finality to it that makes her uneasy.]

I think I should like a room on the second floor...just up the stairs in the main hallway? There isn't anything surprising I should know about, is there?