libraritology | It Had to Be You, Log 1/??? [Audio]

[Pretty much no one out there has ever caused Evelyn grievous bodily harm, and it's unlikely that they ever will taking into account her demeanour. At least she isn't embittered by trauma, right? Right?

Not counting her parents' untimely deaths in the 1922 version of Nightmare at 20,000 Feet, of course.

Evelyn isn't generally much of a fiction reader either, though she occasionally indulges in some yellow-paper adventure stories. It's something of a guilty pleasure for an individual who's spent much of her life indoors with ancient artefacts for companions.

Curious as to what a physics professor actually reads in his spare time, she isn't exactly surprised that the material appears to be (for the most part) within his area of expertise. And the majority of the terms would likely go over her head.

She laughs.]

You have a very high opinion of someone you just met.

[Then again, very few of the people she's spoken to so far have provided pleasant conversation under the circumstances.]

I'm afraid I'm a bit of a bore, actually. Ancient Egyptian history is my primary focus - most recently I was studying Seti I from the nineteenth dynasty. He was one of the most affluent pharaohs of the Old Kingdom, and the reading was research for my expedition.

[Evelyn shifts a little guiltily.]

...and...sometimes I partake in Arthur Conan Doyle or Rider Haggard.

That sounds a long way from boring.

[ Despite Clarence's mock snoring in the back of Philip's mind. ]

...Although I admit that's the first time I've heard of Seti I. [ He clears his throat. ] Which you probably get a lot when you're not talking to your colleagues.

[ Philip certainly does when it comes to his subject and the blank stares can be a little frustrating, hence he's not exactly happy to announce his lack of knowledge. ]

I have heard of and read Arthur Conan Doyle though,

[ which he offers with a tentative smile after noticing the guilty shift he can't really account for.

He would also offer the knowledge that a Sherlock Holmes is currently residing in the mansion, but alas, he hasn't made that discovery yet. ]

[The only reason she treads carefully on the subject of popular fiction and preferred book genres is because of the society she lives in - women are starting to get a much sturdier footing in the world, but the occasional mocking tends to set her on edge.

Young ladies aren't exactly supposed to want adventure.]

Doyle is still popular in the twenty-first century?

[Perhaps there's hope yet for the future!]

It isn't often I have the chance to read fiction, but he is one of my favourites.

[Which reminds her that she has a copy of A Study in Scarlet in her boat cabin. Which is currently either on fire or underwater. Splendid. Just...splendid.]

I can't blame you for not knowing about Seti, Philip, but I would be rather surprised if you'd never heard about The Book of the Dead.

[World history teaches children that much about Egypt, doesn't it?]

Edited 2011-07-22 00:43 (UTC)

I imagine you'd have a hard time finding anyone who hasn't at least heard of his books.

[ Contemporary works of fiction. Must be interesting to find out which ones stuck around.

But the smile on Philip's face falters this time. Even if world history succeeded, it looks like tiny!Philip's attention span failed on that chapter... ]

...And the... the Book of the Dead...

{ }

...It does ring a bell at least. [ NEXT TOPIC! NEXT TOPIC! ]

Is that... what your expedition was- is about?

[For an instant she actually looks dismayed, and not entirely at the fact that Philip doesn't know what she's talking about. No, it's the implication that she might have to explain quite a lot of this, and she hates to put that much information on a person at once.

Perhaps summing up a few sections won't hurt, if they get around to it.]

...it's...sort-of related. My group was searching for the lost City of the Dead.

[Evelyn turns to the bookshelf, pushing past a few heavy, leather-bound tomes and pulling one of them out. She flips it open, selects a page (http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1434/749753626_9aee9f9fbd.jpg), and offers it to Philip.]

The Book of the Dead was a series of spells that the deceased could use in the afterlife to ensure their safety. This is the trial where the deceased had his heart weighed against the Feather of Truth to determine whether he was worthy of passing on. If he wasn't, the animal with the crocodile head would devour his heart.

On the other end of the spectrum, there is The Book of the Living. It's...perhaps not as legitimate, since there is very little evidence it ever existed, but according to legend it took life away rather than restored it. My translations say it can be found in the City of the Dead.

[Oh. Oh, goodness, she lectured again. She needs to stop doing that. Not everyone cares about thousand-year old civilizations the way she does.]

...I'm sorry, this must seem horribly dull to you; mummies and all. [Evelyn smiles hopefully.] Why don't you tell me more about what it's like here? What sort of things I ought to expect?

[ Philip takes the book and looks at the page. Not the kind of mythology he's been trying to research, but the lecture is far from unwelcome. Interesting, in a way he never would have appreciated a few months ago, to put it in some of his own last words. ]

{ }

[ Wonderland's translation program is rarely faulty, but with some texts it just doesn't seem to bother, at least according to Philip's experience.

The symbols on the page still look incomprehensible to him, maybe because the book is useless for communication between any of the residents. Clarence doesn't seem to find them much of an obstacle... at least he seems to be reciting something that fits the theme well enough.

If it's good for us it's good for the judge. Philip doesn't notice himself silently mouthing that part. ]

No, not at all, it's... it's far from dull, really.

[ He hands the book back while Clarence goes on about making a note of that the next time they get hold of one of his friends' heart and the crazy scientist's crocodile.

A quick frown is all the response Philip has to spare for that. Annnd it's back to a smile and the Wonderland tour. ]

...Anyway, I can-- I'll tell you everything I know, but we should- maybe we should go someplace else.

[ Wonderland information tends to be the sort of thing that's best delivered sitting down with a nice cup of ~~tequila~~ ~~whiskey~~ ~~vodka~~ tea. ]

Most floors have a few tea rooms... if you like.

Edited 2011-07-22 13:27 (UTC)

[She brightens, if only because he doesn't seem bored to death with the subject. It isn't often that Evelyn has the opportunity to share knowledge with anyone - her brother knows most of this already, and the colleagues at the museum can't really be counted as colleagues when they hardly pay her any mind.

Replacing the book on the shelf and watching with interest as it turns into Practical Reincarnation and You, Evelyn finds the new suggestion more than welcoming. While she would be perfectly content speaking in the library, the vaulted ceilings and long halls are perfect for eavesdroppers and she isn't in quite the right mood to be surprised.

Evelyn gets the feeling that Philip LaFresque doesn't have very many sit-down, polite conversations over tea.]

I would like that very much, thank you.

[Oh, but wait!]

As long as it doesn't put you out. I recall you were walking down to the, ah...the beach. But if it's no trouble, then I would appreciate anything that makes me feel like a civilized human being again.

Edited 2011-07-22 14:09 (UTC)

No trouble whatsoever, [ he reassures sincerely.

In fact it comes much closer to a reward. Evelyn is right, sit-down conversations don't happen very often, certainly not in a polite way over tea. And "I would appreciate anything that makes me feel like a civilized human being again" is a sentiment Philip can more than relate to, something no amount of time spent on the beach can help him with.

Besides, it's not like the physicist is about to sustain a horrible injury that will prevent him from going after his watery hobby for a very, very long time.

He leads the way out of the library, along the corridor. ]

So... was diving in your nightgown a scheduled part of the expedition?

[At that, Evelyn has the grace to colour a little.]

I was actually minding my own business, thank you very much.

[The reprimand is in good humour, if it isn't obvious by the way she's smiling. Now that she's no longer on The Sudan and in immediate danger, she can look at the situation with a clearer mindset.]

Our vessel was attacked by men in black in the middle of the night. Then wanted the map to Hamunaptra- the City of the Dead. [She amends, for Philip's sake.] There was...fire...gunshots. The Americans on the boat were shooting at everything. It was hard to tell what was what, and who was who.

[Jonathan ran to safety. She remembers that. He's always been good at worming out of scrapes, no matter how bad things get.]

Our guide asked me if I could swim, and then he threw me over the side of the boat.

[THE NERVE OF THAT MAN.]

{ }

What happened then?

[ If Philip thought about it he would have to admit that he was asking out of curiosity as much as (maybe even a little more than) out of concern. If it was purely the latter then he might just have held his tongue. Nice as it would be to know that the young woman is safe at home, the equal chance of her being anything but is not something he'd want to examine too closely.

But alas, this is his inner movie fanatic speaking out of turn and out of a great eagerness to know how this exciting scene ends. ]

I was suddenly here.

[Evelyn hates to end the story on a lame note, but that much is true.]

My brother was in the water soon afterwards, I was sure I heard him say my name, but then I was here.

[She couldn't have...couldn't have died, right? That wouldn't make any sense, and there's no afterlife out there like this - not that she believes in an afterlife, anyway.]

The men who attacked us, though...they had tattoos on their faces. The strange part is that these symbols are so ancient and revered that they haven't been used for anything but their original purpose.

[Curiouser and curiouser.]

The only men who were permitted to wear them were the Medjai. Sort of a...group of bodyguards for the Pharaoh. But that was thousands of years ago, it doesn't make any sense why there would still be Medjai now.

Huh.

[ The inner movie fanatic is thrilled by this set-up, but Philip himself notices a cold sort of dread getting comfortable in his stomach. Was "I made it safely onto dry land and then I was suddenly here" really too much to ask for?

He contemplates the rest of her story. Huh as a contribution to that will not do. ]

So if... If they were guarding the Pharaoh then, what if they are guarding his remains now? If they didn't want you to have the map, then...

[ Philip stops. Their corridor journey is completed. He pushes open a door, revealing a lovely little tea room on the other side. ]

Maybe that's what they didn't want you to find.

{ }

Edited 2011-07-23 13:39 (UTC)

That's exactly what I would have thought, too.

[It's phenomenal that he's actually getting so interested in her line of work. By this point, Jonathan would have waved his hand, dismissed the entire thing, and suggested that they sit down for a glass of port. Evelyn isn't quite so eager to ignore goings-on as her brother is, though.]

However, Seti- oh, thank you. [She steps into the tea room, moving to one of the small table, and continues.] Seti I was buried in the Valley of the Kings, in a personal mortuary temple, hundreds of miles away. His tomb was discovered in 1817.

[See, now you've gotten her all excited to share her theories. We hope you know what you've gotten yourself into.]

I believe that the Medjai's duties have changed - or had changed, at some point, shifting from protecting Seti I to...to something else. Something like that would only have happened once he had died, and their positions were practically obsolete.

[Seating herself at the table, hands folded primly in her lap, Evelyn then realizes that she's been talking this entire time and hasn't offered to assist.]

...oh! Oh, do you need help? Should I fetch cups and saucers?

[ Philip would be down with the port, but that doesn't mean he has to dismiss an interesting conversation for it. ]

Changed to-- I've got this, thank you.

[ Turning away from the cupboard Philip arrives at the table with a magically produced tea set.

Cups, saucers and a hot water, milk, sugar, lemon as well as an assortment of several teas and complimentary cookies are all neatly arranged on a large silver tray.

Wonderland does make life significantly easier, if only on the afternoon tea front.

Philip takes a seat. ]

Changed to what, do you have any idea?

Edited 2011-07-23 15:53 (UTC)

[How remarkably convenient. An entire tea service, without all the preparation time, in less than thirty seconds. Evelyn selects a teabag, drops it in a cup, and pours hot water over it.]

Nothing to do with Seti I, that's for certain. His body was discovered elsewhere in the Valley of the Kings in 1881, likely due to grave robbers. But if the Medjai are still at work, then this calls for much more research.

[A little cream, lemon, sugar. She stirs it, taking a sip.]

There is...one theory.

[Evelyn hates to follow hearsay alone, but when it's the only thing to work on, she may have no other choice. Besides, who doesn't like scandalous rumours?]

It's purely speculation, but...supposedly Seti was murdered by his high priest, Imhotep, and his mistress, Anck Su-Namun. According to legend, the two were having an affair when she wasn't supposed to be touched by anyone but the Pharaoh himself.

The Medjai would have every reason to pursue the priest. If they did catch him, he would have suffered the worst of punishments.

[ Ohhh, Ancient Egyptian Gossip^TM! Philip listens while pouring his own cup, just a little lemon, thank you very much.

He automatically reaches for his trusty companion flask when he realises that coming prepared with a bottle of rum is very unlikely to impress or indeed leave any sort of favourable impression on his new acquaintance.

Quickly letting the evidence of his recreational alcoholism slip back into his pocket Philip nervously withdraws his hand and busies it with stirring the tea. ]

What- what sort of punishment?

[ Stirring, stirring, stirr-- Why did he just ask that? ]

The Hom-Dai.

[Evelyn sits up straighter. She wouldn't be offended by the alcohol abuse - Lord knows she's been desensitized to it by her brother - but it's nice of him to think otherwise. Respectable young women are becoming quite modern, after all. It is the 1920s.]

It was a curse used to punish the worst blasphemers. Should any victims rise from the dead, they would bring with them all the Ten Plagues of Egypt.

[Now for the fun part!]

The priests would cut out the tongue of the accused, who would then be embalmed alive, wrapped in linen, and placed in a stone sarcophagus with hundreds of flesh-eating scarab beetles. There is, however, very little record of this ever being done to anyone.

Hypothetically speaking, if this did happen, then the Medjai would have every reason to...protect...the remains.

[Oh.]

[ Philip takes a sip of his tea as he listens with morbid fascination. Too late he remembers to at least go through the motions of shock or disgust where he no longer feels them. ]

{ }

[ Oh good, there's a frown at least. Still... ]

But why protect his remains? If he was a- a blasphemer, why bother guarding him... and for so long?

I...I suppose the only reason to protect the remains would be to prevent anyone from bringing him back from the dead.

[It's a very good question, and one she definitely doesn't know the answer to. Evelyn pauses to drink some of her tea, considering her revelations. If this is the case, then she can bring it back up whenever she returns to Egypt.]

The Ten Plagues of Egypt weren't exactly a stroll in the park, Philip. Whether or not they happened must not matter to the Medjai, as long as they're continuing their duties.

[But! Logic prevails!]

But this is all still conjecture - I wouldn't know for sure unless someone actually read from The Book of the Dead and its spells were real, but that's-

[Evelyn waves her hand. Superstition is for old Egyptian ladies and so-called medicine men.]

-that's ridiculous, not to mention unrealistic.

As unrealistic as an alternative dimension with quasi-magical closets and people from different eras?

[ Sip. ]

...you have a point.

[Grimace. Sip.]

Although the thought of a three-thousand year old mummy Hell-bent on destroying the entire world doesn't tickle my fancy as much as finding a less dangerous artefact. I suppose relics are more interesting when they're not trying to kill you.

[ Dead quiet. Sip. ]

...I suppose so.

[ It's hard for Philip not to associate murderous relics with one particular derp-- pardon, person in Wonderland. If he lets himself continue down that road of thought, chances are not even the most civilised conversation could save his day.

Another sip. Time for a subject change. ]

You said you wanted to know more about Wonderland. Do you want the good, the bad or the awful news first?

[Evelyn has already met Wonderland's greatest derp, although she's under the impression that he's a very thoughtful young man from the past who has wonderful manners and holds pleasant conversation quite well.]

I have choices, do I?

[Expression torn between amusement and worry, she drums her fingertips along the side of the teacup.]

Bad and awful news first, I suppose. It's better to get those out of the way.

Most of the time all you have to worry about are some of the other residents, but every, um... every two weeks or so we get those "events". They're based on memories - our memories - and they...

[ How to put this? ]

They change Wonderland. Or us. Or both. You'll understand it better once you've actually been through one, but--

[ Sip. ]

Just recently the entire mansion turned into a Japanese school campus. One time for three days I was convinced that I was really a psychiatrist. And a while ago-- You're not going to believe that one. [ He grins. ] A while ago Wonderland was completely underwater and all of us turned into fish. Er... part fish. Marine animal hybrids. That was...

[ Fond event memories. They do actually exist. ]

...quite interesting. Well. Few of the events are actually enjoyable, I'd call most of them an inconvenience, but they... they can be dangerous.

[ Philip attempts another sip of his tea, but the cup has been emptied. ]

Last time we woke up with collars around our necks. We were told they'd poison us if we didn't take an antidote, which... which we could only get by fighting each other.

[ He stares into the cup, his expression solemn. Philip didn't die... or kill during that event, but the set-up was troubling enough. ]

Edited 2011-07-24 17:07 (UTC)

[Events. All right, she can handle something that only comes once every two weeks or so. That doesn't sound all that bad. According to Philip they only last for three days, so there's that, at least. Evelyn listens with rapt attention as he starts listing some examples.

Perception or reality-altering situations sound complicated and unnecessarily confusing, but if the mansion is indeed sentient and this is what is does...well. Nothing can be done about that.

It's all well and good until he mentions that there is a distinct possibility of combat. Fighting people. Killing people?]

Oh.

[Evelyn pales. She isn't quite cut out for those sorts of things.

She does notice that he's run out of tea, and pours another cupful for Philip. Expression worried, completely ignoring her drink, Evelyn ventures,]

...so what's the good news?

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