libraritology | It Had to Be You, Log 1/??? [Audio]

[ With the first batch of Wonderland basics out of the way Philip makes a mental note to inquire about the lady's year of origin. Later, once he gets to the 'different times, different places, different dimensions' part, that is. ]

I know, some people here can be, uh... I mean, not everyone is-- [ He clears his throat. ] Half of them are probably crazy, to be honest.

[ Or will be, after a while. ]

...Unusual, to say the least. [ Hang on, this is a good segue! ] Because--

Because people don't just come here from one place or country or- or even one world. [ He takes a deep breath. ] This is probably going to sound crazy too, but they're all- I mean, we're all-- Most of us are from different times and dimensions.

...Which would be why some can be... more difficult to talk to, to say the least.

Edited 2011-07-19 21:28 (UTC)

[Oh Heavens, he isn't the first person to mention different worlds. Several others have, and though it seems much simpler to lump them all into a group labeled "possibly insane", the more they say it, the harder it seems to ignore the truth.

Pulling her hair over one shoulder and fiddling with it, Evelyn mulls over this information and finally nods.]

I've no other choice than to believe what you say, despite the Lovecraftian angle, but...

[Dimensions make some sense. She's read a little science-fiction, or...science-horror, or whatever they're calling it these days. She looks at him warily, as if expecting Cthulu to crawl out of his ears.]

...what...sort of dimension are you from, Mr. LaFresque? Judging by your accent, I would think you to be a native of London.

Edited 2011-07-19 21:48 (UTC)

[ That look is not exactly encouraging when directed at him, but at least Philip was expecting a reaction along those lines. ]

I know how it all sounds, but... but it'll get easier to believe after you've actually talked to a few people and... and it- it just sort of... tends to sink in once you've been here a while.

[ Another apologetic smile. Unfortunately there's only so much comfort he can offer. ]

...Anyway, uh, I'm- not a London native exactly, but I used to live there long enough. [ A beat. Time for dimensional comparison. ] I know Lovecraft and- and definitely Lewis Carroll, so... so it's got to be a similar world at least and... ah, and the last year I remember is 2001.

{ }

[ Ignoring that remark Philip stops in front of the door they were about to pass. This room was empty the last time he was here. After a quick check to make sure he holds open the door and steps aside. ]

After you.

Edited 2011-07-19 22:12 (UTC)

Two-thousand and one?

[Evelyn stops before going through the door, just letting this sink in.

She wasn't expecting anything that far ahead. The distant future seems less distant when you're faced with one of its inhabitants; although this does explain Philip's clothing. It's not entirely different, but a little off.

...oh, right. The room. Dry clothes. She moves inside.]

I hadn't contemplated a completely different century.

[My word, that's like coming face-to-face with one of the mummies she researches! Unthinkable!

Not that Philip LaFresque is anything like a mummy, of course, but he is almost one-hundred years ahead of her. THE THINGS SHE COULD LEARN.]

I won't even be alive then.

Edited 2011-07-19 22:49 (UTC)

That's a bit of a gloomy way to look at it.

[ ...says the guy who hasn't given that point of view much thought on account of being fairly convinced that he's due for death in a few hours or days at most. ]

...But I think I know what you mean. Actually, compared to some others here I'm practically ancient history.

[ He laughs a little, but much as he's curious about the years to come there's just something about being the guy from the future which he enjoys a lot more.

Putting that topic aside for the moment Philip steps up to the closet. ]

Did I mention the closets before? I can't remember. They-- Actually this is probably going to be a little more crazy talk, but bear with me.

If you need anything then all you have to do is stand here, think of exactly what it is you want and open the closet and... and with any luck you'll get what you need.

[ He taps the closet door. ] A few things they won't just give out. I know you can't get money of any kind and, uh... and personal items, I think. But as long as--

[ Philip steps back from the closet. ]

As long as you don't ask for something hand-knit by your grandmother getting dry clothes shouldn't be a problem.

[Gloomy, perhaps, but true. She smiles.]

I'm something of an expert on ancient history - I find that hard to believe.

[She looks over Philip's clothes again, intrigued by the sweater, the way the collar of the shirt is cut, and the cuffs. The basics are the same, but the details have changed.

Which reminds her; she needs something of her own to wear. From...the magic closet. Evie sighs, moving over to it hesitantly and running her hand across the grain, just long enough to think of what she needs. A sensible skirt. Stockings, shoes, a belt, and a shirt. Knickers.

And behold, the closet provides!]

...I didn't really expect that to work.

[She admits, setting the borrowed towel aside and gathering her things. There's a changing screen! Thank goodness. She'll just walk past Philip over to the corner of the room, behind the partition, and continue the conversation.

Under normal circumstances, Evelyn would never consider undressing and re-dressing in a room with a stranger, but these are desperate times, and she is a modern woman! If she can handle an expedition, she can handle a mere mansion.]

So what is it you do, exactly, Mr. LaFresque?

...Please, just Philip, if you don't mind.

[ The first name basis was far from his home when he still actually lived at home, but to insist on formality in the kind of environment Wonderland provided started losing its appeal soon enough.

Evelyn disappeared behind the changing screen before he could offer to step outside, so he opts to simply turn his back to her instead. ]

I don't exactly do much here, not as far as any profession is concerned in any case, but... I used to teach theoretical physics at .

[ He steps up to the window and looks outside. ]

What about you? You mentioned... an expedition? [ Hey, remember that question? ] ...What years was that anyway?

[Philip, then. A first-name basis makes things much easier, and much more comfortable. Speaking of comfortable, her clothes are a lot drier now. Victory has been achieved!

Where she's from must seem dreadfully dull to a person almost one-hundred years in the future - and a professor of physics, no less.]

Yes, an expedition.

[Evelyn emerges from behind the screen looking far more presentable (http://i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x408/dashboardlite/ariane179254_TheMummy_3229_Chapter11_ACurseInCairo.jpg) in a long skirt and blouse. The horrific embarrassment is over. The nightgown is definitely not going to be used again, particularly if she can get whatever she needs from the pseudo-magical wardrobes.]

I was in Egypt. The year is - was, excuse me - 1926. My profession is not specifically archaeology, as much as I would like to say it is. I work at the Museum of Egyptian Antiquities in Cairo as a-

[~~Librarian.~~]

-cataloging and translation specialist.

1926... I don't think we have... there's somebody from the 70s if I- if I remember correctly, but you're...

[ He turns around to face her again. It's true that Philip preferred to look at humanity's future rather than its past, but that was back when he couldn't sit down with humanity's past for a cup of tea. ]

I think that makes you the youngest- well, earliest into the 20th Century here.

[ Supposedly his habit of cataloguing new residents in a feeble attempt at forming a time- and dimensionline could have gone unshared, but there you have it. Onwards to more interesting subjects! o9 ]

...But Cairo, that's-- I've never been, but... but our university, the- the linguistics department, I know they've done amazing research on Egyptian hieroglyphs....

[ He clears his throat. ]

Anyway, I'm afraid there won't be much for you to do here when it comes to translations, but... but cataloging-- Actually, the library here is incredible.

...If- if you like I could show you around.

Edited 2011-07-20 20:20 (UTC)

[The earliest in the twentieth century? That's...well, that's not-so-good news, but she'll make do. The times, they are a-changin'. She can adapt; she's always been fairly good at that.

Evelyn watches him fumble over his thoughts for a moment, close to putting him out of his misery by suggesting that he give her a tour, when Philip gets to a rather intriguing bit.

Interest piqued, Evelyn brightens immediately.]

A library?

[Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!]

Oh...yes! Yes, please! I would love that. I mean, I've been working on the museum library for quite some time, but a breath of fresh air would probably do wonders - they don't have quite the control over temperature that I wish they had, and the documents are always on the verge of falling apart, so anything that's-

[Hand + Mouth + Embarrassed Smile.]

...I'm sorry, please lead the way.

[ Philip is far from taken aback. After al the allure of a magical library is perfectly understandable. He smiles before heading back out into the corridor. ]

We deserve a few perks for being trapped in an alternative dimension.

[ As they're walking Philip goes over the list of other rooms that might be of interest to a new arrival. ]

If you go back the way we came and walk straight along the corridor on the other side you'll get to the ballroom. The music room is, uh... usually nearby, but it's sometimes hard to find, at least that's what I've heard, I've only been there once myself.

[ He points at the far end of the corridor. ]

Back there's the kitchen if you'd like to cook something for yourself, otherwise there's a dining room on the first floor which works just like the closets.

And the library-

[ Philip stops and finds himself making just the tiniest show out of turning and opening the large wooden doors to their left. ]

-is right here.

[Ballroom. Main hall. Foyer. Parlour, kitchen, music room. Alternate dimensions, magical wardrobes ~~to Narnia~~.

Fortunately, Evelyn is remarkably good at committing things to memory, so at least she won't get lost in the future. The mansion is certainly a lot larger than she anticipated - her childhood home in Oxfordshire can't even begin to compare.

...and she's something of a helpless cook, so the dining room will be frequented far more often than the kitchen will. Not much further down the hallway, they stop in front of two massive doors, and Philip opens them.

For an instant, Evelyn is certain that her heart has stopped entirely.]

...oh...my God.

[And she doesn't even believe in God.

Carefully stepping inside and staring up with (slight) trepidation at the towering shelves that just keep going in either direction, Evelyn slowly turns back to Philip.]

I'm not...actually dreaming this, am I?

{ }

It's at least as real as everything else here.

[ That may not be saying much, but there you have it. ]

Sometimes there's another entrance on the first... and on the second floor, but-- It changes size, not sure why, I... I think it depends on what you're looking for.

...Which reminds me, don't count on the Dewey decimal system here, it's sort of--

[ He walks over to one of the nearby shelves. ]

It's got proper sections on a good day and on a really good day you'll spot what you need right away, but otherwise it can be a bit...

[ Philip pulls out two books and displays them with a shrug. ]

...idiosyncratic.

[ That's Freshwater Algae of North America: Ecology and Classification and Elizabethan Sonnets, Volume II for you. ]

[It's incredibly fortunate that Evelyn is not privy to Clarence's helpful comments, because she would take just as much offense to them as she has to the quips of Rick O'Connell.

Following Philip to one of the shelves, she pulls a book out and dusts off the cover.]

This is rather peculiar.

[The one she's holding is titled Patton: A Biography of America's Greatest General, and Evelyn frowns. It's certainly not shelved in the correct place if it was one line over from texts on Phycology and High Renaissance poetry.

Replacing her book on the shelf and selecting another - this one is at least a dissertation on Hieratic - she flips it open and glances back up at him.]

What sort of books do you like, Philip?

Edited 2011-07-21 15:30 (UTC)

What sort of, um...

[ Jesus, it's been ages since he's had a normal conversation. With somebody he has at no point caused grievous bodily harm no less. Excuse him for a moment, but there's a single manly tear that needs shedding. On the inside, of course.

The shelf seems to shift a little, some of the books in it changing colour and size. Philip's finger now rests on a red cover. Pulling it out halfway part of the title Courtship and Marriage in Victorian England is revealed. He quickly lets the book fall back into place. ]

I'm... not much of a fiction reader, to be honest.

{ }

I've been trying to read up on... anything that could explain this, you know, parallel dimensions and- and such, but it's...

[ He shakes his head. ]

It's just so much theory and none of it...

[ Philip trails off. Having to use the word theory in a negative context is somehow deeply defeating. But this is Wonderland, Master of Mocking the Laws of Physics at Every Turn.

He's learned to cope. Grudgingly. And it's not like there are no perks to it at all. ]

Then I came across an actual physics section one day and since then I've mostly been...

[ A quick look through the changing shelf makes him reach for a thick binder, the title being something or other including "of Quantum Non-Locality". ]

I've been reading my students' theses. They won't-- [ He flips through the pages. ] They won't have written those for another three years at least.

[ He stops at a seemingly particularly fascinating page and revels in the time paradox for a moment... until he remembers that he has company now. Remember, Philip? People? The living things you have a conversation with? ]

I'm... sorry.

[ The binder hurriedly disappears amongst the other Wonderland works and Philip looks back at Evelyn. ]

I should probably ask you the same, I expect your answer would turn out to be more interesting.

[Pretty much no one out there has ever caused Evelyn grievous bodily harm, and it's unlikely that they ever will taking into account her demeanour. At least she isn't embittered by trauma, right? Right?

Not counting her parents' untimely deaths in the 1922 version of Nightmare at 20,000 Feet, of course.

Evelyn isn't generally much of a fiction reader either, though she occasionally indulges in some yellow-paper adventure stories. It's something of a guilty pleasure for an individual who's spent much of her life indoors with ancient artefacts for companions.

Curious as to what a physics professor actually reads in his spare time, she isn't exactly surprised that the material appears to be (for the most part) within his area of expertise. And the majority of the terms would likely go over her head.

She laughs.]

You have a very high opinion of someone you just met.

[Then again, very few of the people she's spoken to so far have provided pleasant conversation under the circumstances.]

I'm afraid I'm a bit of a bore, actually. Ancient Egyptian history is my primary focus - most recently I was studying Seti I from the nineteenth dynasty. He was one of the most affluent pharaohs of the Old Kingdom, and the reading was research for my expedition.

[Evelyn shifts a little guiltily.]

...and...sometimes I partake in Arthur Conan Doyle or Rider Haggard.

That sounds a long way from boring.

[ Despite Clarence's mock snoring in the back of Philip's mind. ]

...Although I admit that's the first time I've heard of Seti I. [ He clears his throat. ] Which you probably get a lot when you're not talking to your colleagues.

[ Philip certainly does when it comes to his subject and the blank stares can be a little frustrating, hence he's not exactly happy to announce his lack of knowledge. ]

I have heard of and read Arthur Conan Doyle though,

[ which he offers with a tentative smile after noticing the guilty shift he can't really account for.

He would also offer the knowledge that a Sherlock Holmes is currently residing in the mansion, but alas, he hasn't made that discovery yet. ]

[The only reason she treads carefully on the subject of popular fiction and preferred book genres is because of the society she lives in - women are starting to get a much sturdier footing in the world, but the occasional mocking tends to set her on edge.

Young ladies aren't exactly supposed to want adventure.]

Doyle is still popular in the twenty-first century?

[Perhaps there's hope yet for the future!]

It isn't often I have the chance to read fiction, but he is one of my favourites.

[Which reminds her that she has a copy of A Study in Scarlet in her boat cabin. Which is currently either on fire or underwater. Splendid. Just...splendid.]

I can't blame you for not knowing about Seti, Philip, but I would be rather surprised if you'd never heard about The Book of the Dead.

[World history teaches children that much about Egypt, doesn't it?]

Edited 2011-07-22 00:43 (UTC)

I imagine you'd have a hard time finding anyone who hasn't at least heard of his books.

[ Contemporary works of fiction. Must be interesting to find out which ones stuck around.

But the smile on Philip's face falters this time. Even if world history succeeded, it looks like tiny!Philip's attention span failed on that chapter... ]

...And the... the Book of the Dead...

{ }

...It does ring a bell at least. [ NEXT TOPIC! NEXT TOPIC! ]

Is that... what your expedition was- is about?

[For an instant she actually looks dismayed, and not entirely at the fact that Philip doesn't know what she's talking about. No, it's the implication that she might have to explain quite a lot of this, and she hates to put that much information on a person at once.

Perhaps summing up a few sections won't hurt, if they get around to it.]

...it's...sort-of related. My group was searching for the lost City of the Dead.

[Evelyn turns to the bookshelf, pushing past a few heavy, leather-bound tomes and pulling one of them out. She flips it open, selects a page (http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1434/749753626_9aee9f9fbd.jpg), and offers it to Philip.]

The Book of the Dead was a series of spells that the deceased could use in the afterlife to ensure their safety. This is the trial where the deceased had his heart weighed against the Feather of Truth to determine whether he was worthy of passing on. If he wasn't, the animal with the crocodile head would devour his heart.

On the other end of the spectrum, there is The Book of the Living. It's...perhaps not as legitimate, since there is very little evidence it ever existed, but according to legend it took life away rather than restored it. My translations say it can be found in the City of the Dead.

[Oh. Oh, goodness, she lectured again. She needs to stop doing that. Not everyone cares about thousand-year old civilizations the way she does.]

...I'm sorry, this must seem horribly dull to you; mummies and all. [Evelyn smiles hopefully.] Why don't you tell me more about what it's like here? What sort of things I ought to expect?

[ Philip takes the book and looks at the page. Not the kind of mythology he's been trying to research, but the lecture is far from unwelcome. Interesting, in a way he never would have appreciated a few months ago, to put it in some of his own last words. ]

{ }

[ Wonderland's translation program is rarely faulty, but with some texts it just doesn't seem to bother, at least according to Philip's experience.

The symbols on the page still look incomprehensible to him, maybe because the book is useless for communication between any of the residents. Clarence doesn't seem to find them much of an obstacle... at least he seems to be reciting something that fits the theme well enough.

If it's good for us it's good for the judge. Philip doesn't notice himself silently mouthing that part. ]

No, not at all, it's... it's far from dull, really.

[ He hands the book back while Clarence goes on about making a note of that the next time they get hold of one of his friends' heart and the crazy scientist's crocodile.

A quick frown is all the response Philip has to spare for that. Annnd it's back to a smile and the Wonderland tour. ]

...Anyway, I can-- I'll tell you everything I know, but we should- maybe we should go someplace else.

[ Wonderland information tends to be the sort of thing that's best delivered sitting down with a nice cup of ~~tequila~~ ~~whiskey~~ ~~vodka~~ tea. ]

Most floors have a few tea rooms... if you like.

Edited 2011-07-22 13:27 (UTC)

[She brightens, if only because he doesn't seem bored to death with the subject. It isn't often that Evelyn has the opportunity to share knowledge with anyone - her brother knows most of this already, and the colleagues at the museum can't really be counted as colleagues when they hardly pay her any mind.

Replacing the book on the shelf and watching with interest as it turns into Practical Reincarnation and You, Evelyn finds the new suggestion more than welcoming. While she would be perfectly content speaking in the library, the vaulted ceilings and long halls are perfect for eavesdroppers and she isn't in quite the right mood to be surprised.

Evelyn gets the feeling that Philip LaFresque doesn't have very many sit-down, polite conversations over tea.]

I would like that very much, thank you.

[Oh, but wait!]

As long as it doesn't put you out. I recall you were walking down to the, ah...the beach. But if it's no trouble, then I would appreciate anything that makes me feel like a civilized human being again.

Edited 2011-07-22 14:09 (UTC)

No trouble whatsoever, [ he reassures sincerely.

In fact it comes much closer to a reward. Evelyn is right, sit-down conversations don't happen very often, certainly not in a polite way over tea. And "I would appreciate anything that makes me feel like a civilized human being again" is a sentiment Philip can more than relate to, something no amount of time spent on the beach can help him with.

Besides, it's not like the physicist is about to sustain a horrible injury that will prevent him from going after his watery hobby for a very, very long time.

He leads the way out of the library, along the corridor. ]

So... was diving in your nightgown a scheduled part of the expedition?

[At that, Evelyn has the grace to colour a little.]

I was actually minding my own business, thank you very much.

[The reprimand is in good humour, if it isn't obvious by the way she's smiling. Now that she's no longer on The Sudan and in immediate danger, she can look at the situation with a clearer mindset.]

Our vessel was attacked by men in black in the middle of the night. Then wanted the map to Hamunaptra- the City of the Dead. [She amends, for Philip's sake.] There was...fire...gunshots. The Americans on the boat were shooting at everything. It was hard to tell what was what, and who was who.

[Jonathan ran to safety. She remembers that. He's always been good at worming out of scrapes, no matter how bad things get.]

Our guide asked me if I could swim, and then he threw me over the side of the boat.

[THE NERVE OF THAT MAN.]

{ }

What happened then?

[ If Philip thought about it he would have to admit that he was asking out of curiosity as much as (maybe even a little more than) out of concern. If it was purely the latter then he might just have held his tongue. Nice as it would be to know that the young woman is safe at home, the equal chance of her being anything but is not something he'd want to examine too closely.

But alas, this is his inner movie fanatic speaking out of turn and out of a great eagerness to know how this exciting scene ends. ]

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